Don’t Take Your Baby to the Jazzfest
The doctor drove his baby to the jazzfest
A Cadillac XLR
When he came back eight hours later
Some fool had stolen his car

Don’t take your baby to the jazzfest
There’s no good place to park
Don’t take your baby to the jazzfest
You’ll walk home in the dark
Don’t take your baby to the jazzfest
Take the streetcar or the bus
Don’t take your baby to the jazzfest
Take a taxi if you must

Betty Lou brought her baby to the jazzfest
The toddler loved to play
But it rained all afternoon
And the mud washed him away

Don’t take your baby to the jazzfest
It’s no place for a child
Don’t take your baby to the jazzfest
The weather’s way too wild
Don’t take your baby to the jazzfest
You're better off at the zoo
Don’t take your baby to the jazzfest
The aquarium’s nice too

Terry took his baby to the jazzfest
Arm in arm the lovers went
She ran off with a preacherman
She met in the gospel tent

Don’t take your baby to the jazzfest
I’m tellin' you as a friend
Don’t take your baby to the jazzfest
You’ll never see her again
Don’t take your baby to the jazzfest
Please take my advice
Don’t take your baby to the jazzfest
You’re bound to pay the price